urcu_defer: Use cancellation flag instead of pthread_cancel()

- Provides better control over cancellation point location.
- Set the futex to 0 before exiting the defer thread.

This patch combines and enhances patches from Lai Jiangshan:
  urcu,defer_rcu: fix missing respond to a cancellation request
  urcu,defer_rcu: Avoid thread exit unexpected

Reported-by: Lai Jiangshan <laijs@cn.fujitsu.com>
Signed-off-by: Mathieu Desnoyers <mathieu.desnoyers@efficios.com>